Although Jaws made me afraid to go in any body of water larger than a bathtub, I’ve always loved shark movies, despite so many of them being, well, awful.  Shark Night 3-D had possibilities, even beginning with an attack reminiscent of Chrissie’s death in Jaws, but ultimately doesn’t have much bite.

At least Shark Night 3-D tries to be different.  It involves several species of sharks (very nonsensically), with the most memorable being the small but vicious “cookie cutter” variety.  A couple of the attacks are actually staged with some imagination and care, as opposed to the ludicrous super-speed CGI shark scenes in the Nu Image horrors of the past decade or two that have somehow found a home on the Sci-Fi Channel.

Where Shark Night 3-D falls apart is in its human dimension.  Director David R. Ellis takes time to establish his college-age characters before beginning to kill them off, but it is the motivation behind their deaths that is so lame.  Aquariums around the world have a tough time keeping big sharks alive in captivity, but the redneck yokels in this movie are exploiting them (and their victims) with no hassle?  Even admitting that there would be a market for watching actual shark attacks, it is ludicrous to for the perpetrators to think they could possibly get away with filming people’s deaths, controlling these wild sharks all the while.

And, because it is rated PG-13 instead of R, the kill scenes are far less ferocious than they could have been, which will disappoint most of its audience.  That also applies to the lack of skin, although the ladies (Sara Paxton, Katharine McPhee and Alyssa Diaz) are all very attractive.  The film has decent production values and some cool stunts on and in the water, but it could have used more convincing shark effects.  Most of all, it needs a better script.  But the poster is really cool; it’s too bad that image does not appear in the movie.  ☆ ☆.  16 Sept. 2011.