Although I have enjoyed and given good reviews to a couple of the Twilight films in recent years, I was bored by Breaking Dawn, Part 1.  It is so slowly paced, with so little significant action or plot development, that I found myself getting sleepy in the theater.  I haven’t fallen asleep in a movie theater since 1979 (a midnight show of Nosferatu with Klaus Kinski), and I’ll be damned if I ever do again.  But I must admit, the thought was definitely there.

Bill Condon’s film takes its own sweet time (Twihards would probably call it “loving care”) telling how Bella (Kristen Stewart) finally marries her favorite vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson), angering her best werewolf friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner) in the process.  After a weird honeymoon Bella finds herself pregnant, with a fetus that will probably kill her.  This is all very dramatic, but could have been done in an hour or less, and thus fitting the story into one single movie.  But, no.

Even the action that does occur is unconvincing, with silly CGI shots of werewolves growling at each other and, finally, fighting the vampires briefly.  Taylor Lautner in particular has little to do but scowl and Kristen Stewart has never been a favorite of mine.  Before Bella’s wedding, she looks as if she wants to run away and hide.  It’s hard for me to believe that such an anticipated blockbuster as this could be so dull and listless.  Breaking Dawn, Part 1 is oddly similar to the Transformers movies, which are absurdly hyperkinetic and, yet, also boring.  Is it the story, or the making of the movie?  My guess is both, beginning with the daft idea (driven by dollars, no doubt) to split the story into two movies.  One can only hope that the second part will not be so deadly dull.  ✰ ✰.  9 Dec. 2011.