Yes, Cats is among the strangest films of this, or any other, year. Pretty much everything you’ve read about it (if, indeed, you have been reading about this particular cat-tastrophe) is true. And yet . . . I kind of enjoyed it, and — full disclosure — it’s center section made me cry. So I cannot rip it apart the way so many internet critics have. But it is very strange.

Tom Hooper’s version of the Andrew Lloyd Webber stage show musical pretty much follows the stage play, although it may be a bit more literal. A bunch (herd? gaggle?) of cats prowls London alleyways waiting for Old Deuteronomy (Judi Dench) to choose one of them to travel to the Heavyside Layer and begin a new life. Each “contestant” sings or dances to convince the elderly cat that he or she is worthy of the honor.

This is a terminally goofy premise, first imagined by T. S. Eliot who wrote a book of poems about these “jellicle” (dear little) cats. Webber’s stage shows became legendary; I’ve seen the 1994 filming of one of these shows and didn’t care much for it. And I don’t care much for this film, either. I love cats but this story is nonsensical and vaguely insulting to felines. The film is a digitally fur-filled fever dream bouncing from hand-held closeups to far shots of cat-like prancing — and yet the human performers who look like cats have human hands and feet. It is absolutely bizarre.

And yet . . . when the film finally slows enough to let talented newcomer Francesca Hayward (Victoria) sing Webber’s new song “Beautiful Ghosts” and Jennifer Hudson (Grizabella) sing “Memory” back to back, it becomes moving and meaningful. And then, just as suddenly, it races back to crazy time as Macavity (Idris Elba) catnaps all the other contestants and tries to force Old Deuteronomy to send him . . . oh, who cares. The performers, from James Corden and Rebel Wilson to Taylor Swift and Laurie Davidson, are absolutely committed to their fluffy roles, jumping and cavorting with sinuous grace (a cat movement specialist is credited). The film is no doubt a failure, but it is one of the weirdest screen failures I’ve ever seen — and I’m going to get the soundtrack. ☆ ☆. 13 January 2020.