I’ve always enjoyed apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic adventures but After Earth has removed all the fun by staging the apocalypse that has forced mankind to evacuate the Earth some one thousand years before the beginning of the movie.  In the weird universe of After Earth, our planet is quarantined, off limits because everything left “has evolved to kill humans.”  Now how can that be, if there are no humans around left to kill?

Such paradoxes are rife within After Earth.  The planet is described as worn out and abandoned, yet it looks decidedly like lush Costa Rica (where much of it was filmed). Baboons and bison have evidently stayed pretty much the same, yet eagles are now huge, and some sort of big cat has evolved into what seems to be a saber-toothed version.  A spaceflight to a training base is supposed to be perfectly safe — so safe that the craft is transporting a lethal creature called an Ursa, which hunts humans by the scent of their fear — yet the ship is crippled by an asteroid field that comes out of nowhere (and yet somehow predicted by General Cypher Raige [Will Smith]).  Once a rescue beacon is retrieved, it can only be activated by going to the highest point of land nearby, which happens to be an active volcano belching thick smoke (which should shield any signal) into the air.  A key battle between human and Ursa takes place in General Raige’s apartment!  How did it get there — in the middle of a city — and why did someone let it in through the front door?  And on and on.

This would all be tenable if it were entertaining.  It is not.  Will Smith is in restrained mode here, militaristic in manner with clipped speech and no emotion whatsoever, so anyone looking for his usual motormouth hijinks will be sorely disappointed.  Jaden Smith, now 14, is the star of the picture, having to lope one hundred kilometers through jungle, river country and basaltic desolation to use that rescue beacon to call for help.  The younger Smith is a good runner but has little emotional range and very little charisma.  The computer-generated special effects range from effective (the ugly, blind Ursas) to ridiculous (those tiger creatures), with most things in between.

This cinematic hodgepodge was initially imagined by Will Smith as a vanity project for his family.  Talented but snakebitten helmer M. Night Shyamalan was hired to direct, and his visual sense makes this bizarre adventure more palatable than it ought to be.  The lack of a coherent script is its biggest weakness, but a complete lack of charm also hurts it tremendously.  The elder Smith is a talented guy with a likable persona who makes decent science-fiction adventures, all of which he denies in this performance.  Let’s hope he gets back on track with Men in Black 4 or I, Robot 2 or even Independence Day 2, ’cause this movie is a mess.  ☆ 1/2.  11 June 2013.