The alien robots of the “Transformers” universe are back, and they have all new allies and enemies with whom they can fight.  A whole new cast of humans is also provided, partly to prove to the Autobots that the human race is worthy of being protected (and, of course, helping to defeat the evil Terrorcons), and partly because the previous stars have finally begun to realize how pointless it is to try an act in a movie with such a high percentage of special effects wizardry and a complete absence of believability.

Steven Caple Jr.’s movie settles on two people, unemployed electronics expert Noah Diaz (Anthony Ramos) and museum specialist Elena Wallace (Dominique Fishback) who find part of an alien trans-warp device and have to team up to keep the invading Terrorcon robots from getting it and destroying our known universe.  The Autobots try to help but are surprisingly ineffective; they get some help from Maximals, a special breed of animal-robot hybrid beings who have been on Earth forever, but in hiding.  Only when everyone works together can the evil Terrorcons be overcome.  In 127 excruciating minutes.

I don’t think I have seen all of the “Transformer” movies, so I may be missing some salient plot points, but somehow I don’t think it matters.  What I see is the same technique of huge robots tussling and fighting and transforming in super speed, occurring so quickly that any semblance of what is actually happening is utterly moot.  The only merit that these movies have that I can see is the visual design.  The Maximals are kinda cool, although none of them save the falcon are given very much solo screen time.  The big structure that is created to hasten the end of everything on Earth is kinda cool, but it is bound to be destroyed.  And for all the kinetics, this movie drags.  At least we get to see some nice views of Peru, or what Peru is supposed to look like before it is overrun by giant alien robots who treat the country like a football stadium.

I have never enjoyed any of these “Transformer” stories and this one seems no different to me.  The humans are interchangeable with one another because they aren’t all that important.  The robots are big and fast and transforms into cars and stuff and maybe that would have been actually cool to me sixty years ago but it doesn’t do anything for me now.  If these things all disappeared tomorrow I wouldn’t miss them at all.  ☆ ☆.  25 February 2024.